The Start of My Adventure
How Studying Abroad Changed My Mindset
A friend of mine who also studies in US told me, “Even though I have been through the American undergraduate education which values self-exploration and critical thinking, I still find that I only pursue money. Being rich can make me do everything I want. Money can buy me happiness.”
I had agreed with that before September 16, 2015. But after that day, I completely changed my mind. That was the first day I arrived in the United States for school. I did not have to worry about money because I knew that my parents in China would pay for every transaction of my credit card. But I still could not spend the money to buy happiness and could not even use money to solve survival issues.
After I landed at the airport that morning, a kind alumni picked me up and took me to my dorm. Because the time for international students’ check-in was earlier than the time when the school resumes operations and the time for American students’ check-in. That day, dining halls and the supermarket on campus was not open. There were only international students on this huge but empty campus. After moving into my dorm, I found that there was no water dispenser inside (There are water dispensers everywhere in China since tap water there is undrinkable). When it was time for lunch, I did not even know how to feed myself. I just met the most basic problem for survival — food and water.
I used to have a convenient life in China before. For lunch, I could just walk to a convenient store and buy a cheap and fast bento or order a delivery on my mobile phone without even leaving home. But that time, I did not even know what it looked like outside of the campus, nor how to get out of the campus to look for food (Apparently US is not a place for walking). I did not even have an American phone number. I could not use cellular data nor wifi if I had gone out of the campus. In this modern digital age, in a developed country like the United States, I felt that I was living like a savage. Even though there was no one who could help me for getting a lunch, I still had my Chinese international student friends who came along with me. Therefore, I went to my friend’s dorm and asked him what his plan for lunch was. He said that he also starved and just skipped the lunch. Since there was no water dispenser, he just drank tap water (later I learned that American tap water is safe to drink). My friend turned out to be as incompetent as me. At this time, I found that I had always been using money, modern technology to make other people take care of me. But this time, I needed to use my own survival skills. Money alone could not solve my problem. I needed to figure out how to use the money in this completely new environment.
Then, I ate a box of cookie I bought at the airport for lunch. This was the first time I ate snacks for a meal.
In the evening, led by senior students, I went off-campus, to an AT&T store to buy a phone number. After eventually going back to modern life, my friends and I had dinner at a Japanese restaurant nearby. By looking at the unfamiliar dishes on the menu, I realized that how awful my English was. I could even make any basic communication to order food. The Chinglish I learned so much in China was totally useless. When I checked out, I didn’t even know how to tip the waiter with my credit card.
At that time, of course I thought: “Why should I come to the United States to suffer? Isn’t it good for me to continue to live a comfortable life in China?”
Indeed, everyone can just live in their comfort zone and never get out of this bubble. However, this day I finally realized that the life abroad that I had dreamed of was an adventure. I owned nothing but money in this unfamiliar place. I had no language skills, no communication tools, no acquaintance, no ability of taking care of myself. I got to build my everything from 0 by myself.
My friend also asked to me: “If you already have a life better than most people in a society, why do you want to go to another brand-new society and start from 0?”
So, my new life in San Diego was like restarting my life again, from an 18-year-old baby to a 21-year-old adult who can cook, speak English, drive, and rent homes. These skills are not necessary for a 21-year-old Chinese. But later when I came to the United States again on August 15, 2019, in Boston, I quickly benefitted from those skills. Boston was brand new to me, I only brought a credit card with me and had to build everything I needed from 0 again. But this time, I overcame all the difficulties easily and joyfully. I felt so happy for having connections, life experience and precious memories in so many places where cultures are very different. But more importantly, the process of build my own life in a brand-new place is by itself cheerful. I got used to adventures, fell in love with adventures, and hoped to have more adventures in the future.
I will continue my adventures. Therefore, I always change my lifestyles. I graduated early from UCSD and went to Beijing for a full-time internship. Then I went to Boston and the Bay Area for grad school to continue my adventures. Although my wish to stay in California and US failed to come true. I can continue my journeys in other countries. After all, there are so many countries, cultures, and lifestyles in the world that worth exploring.
Today, I still want to be the boy who just arrived in San Diego, who didn’t even know the difference between hair conditioners and shampoo and bought wrong ones. Even though I was so clumsy that time, the process of learning the difference between hair conditioners and shampoo is per se enjoyable.
